Differences Bring Connection

How to Transform Obstacles

At first, hearing that the holiday decorations I had installed was upsetting to a neighbor, I was confused and upset myself. Living in an HOA, I had wanted to bring some holiday cheer at a time when due to Covid restrictions, many felt isolated. I installed ribbons on our lamp posts around our common area. I was encouraged and complimented by many other neighbors. I had mixed feelings.

The “offended” neighbor had actually taken down the decorations. My first reaction was, “What’s their problem?” Not my best self. I was coming from a background that if my intentions are good, it must be okay. Others should understand. 

Upon reflection and a desire to turn a potential confrontation into a possible connection, I decided to meet the upset neighbor, having an open mind to learn her perspective. I changed my internal conversation and approached the situation with curiosity, not a dualistic right or wrong attitude, a default to which I have succumb easily in the past. 

I was a bit nervous when I first approached her door, especially since one neighbor had warned me,“She can be a bit difficult, if you know what I mean,” wishing me good luck.

I knocked on the door, introduced myself, and asked how she was doing. I explained how I was here to learn her perspective on the holiday decorations. She didn’t care for the red ribbon. She offered an alternative to have blue and white colors in recognition of Hanukkah. I had no idea. What an easy fix. We agreed that I would purchase the ribbon and install it. By the way, it isn’t as easy to find these colors! Now the complex had lampposts with red ribbon and others with blue and white.

I have been inspired by this experience and I hope you are as well and can take steps towards transforming obstacles into opportunities for connection.

For more information on communication, perspectives, and conflict resolution visit www.tlcpathways.com