“Do you think that you have a “know-it-all” attitude?” I was asked this by a colleague whom I had only met a few years ago. She was surprised by my response: “Yes, it had once been my style to come across with such arrogance.” I’m grateful to trusted friends who had genuinely shared with a sensitive approach that this had been so. I began to realize that my attitude intimidated others and limited my connections. I learned the hard way that to truly listening to others was close to impossible if I “knew it all”.
In my last post, “Is There a Right Way?” you may have engaged in discussions around “points of view”. (Recall the plates, whether right side up or not?) Have you noticed how varied perspectives can be?
Now, let’s consider how to cultivate an approach of listening to others, especially if they think differently than you. Sometimes it takes a seemingly unrelated experience to jar a fixed approach.
One of my favorite challenges for team building in conflict resolution workshops I lead is “Nailed It”. (No, not the popular bake-off comedy show.) The task is to balance as many 4” nails on the head of one 4” nail, nailed securely in a block of wood. Seems impossible at first, just like some perspectives you hear and say to yourself, “I can’t believe people think like this.”
Thinking out of the box, trying different strategies, and being open minded to creative solutions, it can be done, balancing dozens of nails on the head of one single nail.
“Keep learning: don't be arrogant by assuming that you know it all, that you have a monopoly on the truth; always assume that you can learn something from someone else." Jack Welch
Notice how being open-minded to ideas and varying perspectives can broaden understanding and connections.
Next time, some more ideas about active listening.
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