See the Beauty

How You See Things Makes a Difference 

Nature’s beauty is appreciated by many. Humans live within this beauty, however, the changes we impose are not always considered beautiful. I see evidence of this as I look down below from 30,000 feet high. I am called to see the beauty in the people around me. This has had its challenges for me with people who look different, people I don’t know, and people with whom I disagree.

Maybe I’ve treated people like songs on a radio station? With some songs I turn up the volume up high and “rock out”. Then there are others which within a nanosecond, I switch stations. People are as varied as styles of music. However, we don’t always have the luxury of tuning out those with whom we have challenges. 

On a recent trip across the states, I used the shuffle mode on the music playlist which is comprised of Tom, my husband’s, downloads. Instead of catching up on some sleep as I expected, I chose to listen to whatever came up, as I was inspired. I didn’t envy my seat mates, folks from Vietnam, as I found myself practically dancing in my seat, trying to be discreet Ha! I believe the smiles we exchanged meant that “All is well”. 

Many of the downloaded songs I had never heard before. Some were from our adult children and others collected by Tom, maybe from “hanging out” with the teenagers he teaches. Being exposed to this great variety, I have been pleasantly amazed to discover a song which might initially sound dissonant, to be catchy or have inspirational lyrics.

Then Peter, Paul and Mary’s El Salvador plays. It’s a song of my past, yet the lyrics still ring true — too true. I’m so pained, brought to tears, by how we are treating immigrants today. Our nation is made up of immigrants or children of immigrants as I am. “Who put this price on their liberty?” they sing.

Then randomly the shuffled playlist selects Moonlight Sonata for me and takes me back to the many times I practiced it on the piano to try to master this classic. It’s soothing. Perhaps it’s time for that rest, resting with the faith in people to do right by one another. As Aretha Franklin hails us to have R-E-S-P-E-C-T. 

Like the varied landscape below me, traveling across our country, the assortment of music on my phone, the diversity of people on this flight, all and everyone has its beauty to appreciate. I commit to personally treat those I encounter with lenses looking for their inner beauty and listen to any music, willing to be delightfully surprised. 

Send an Email: pathways2tlc@gmail.com to set up a workshop.

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Speaking Another Language

Do We Mean the Same Thing?

Do you speak another language? Yes, we all do sometimes because we associate different meanings to the same words, even in the same language. We can clarify misunderstandings in “learning one another’s language”. 

Here’s an example: What do you mean when you say, “Just the other day…”? The difference in the reference of time lapse may be different. When my mom uses that phrase, she means within the past 2 weeks, whereas for my dad, it would mean up to a year ago! 

It’s easy to assume that we mean the same thing when we say something. It’s relative to our own experiences, perspectives, and customs. Young children learn language from their family, tribe, and community. And then there are non-verbal ways we communicate which also can be misinterpreted. (More on that soon.)

Communication is key. Let’s assume the best. If we find ourselves in a situation when we may have mistaken what someone has said to us, let’s ask questions to clarify. We may simply have had an alternative definition to the same word or phrase. 

I invite you to share other examples of these types of miscommunications. We are not alone. It happens to us all.

For more about fine tuning communication skills, send an email: pathways2tlc@gmail.com.

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Instagram: maryse_tlcpathways or LinkedIn: Maryse L Postlewaite

Empathy Cultivates Understanding

Can we walk in the shoes of others? How can we become more empathetic? What are the benefits of doing so?

Research indicates the favorable benefits of being empathetic, reshaping our neural circuitry and altering how we interrelate with others for the positive.

Consider these findings: The research team headed by Tania Singer said, “When assessing the world around us and our fellow humans, we use ourselves as a yardstick and tend to project our own emotional state onto others.”

Moods can also affect the neural source of empathy. If we boost our positive perspectives, we more easily show empathy. Due to the neuroplasticity of our brains, we can make choices that allow us to transform our mindset.

Taking a multi-pronged approach to having a more positive outlook is best. That’s why shoes come in different sizes! Here are some ideas you could try.

***Spend time in Nature  ***Volunteer  ***Meditate ***Express Gratitudes ***Perform Acts of Kindness ***Practice Mindfulness ***Do something Creative

You’ve heard the expression, “You can’t understand someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.” Reaching a richer understanding of another’s perspective improves our relationships.

Here’s some history: Although the word “empathy” has its roots from the Greeks, its use is fairly new to the public, just a little over 60 years. Surprising and possibly telling:

In 1955, Reader’s Digest defined the term, which was new to the public outside of academia, as the “ability to appreciate the other person’s feelings without yourself becoming so emotionally involved that your judgment is affected.”

Research indicates that showing empathy is also a key ingredient of successful relationships because it helps us understand the perspectives, needs, and intentions of others.

For information to promote empathy and nurture more compassionate relationships for the rest of your life, send an email: pathways2tlc@gmail.com.

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Instagram: maryse_tlcpathways or LinkedIn: Maryse L Postlewaite . 

Value of Reminders

A Prompt Helps us to Remember

Do you know where the idea to tie a string on your finger to help you remember something originated? In Greek mythology, Ariadne gave Theseus the thread with which he found his way out of the Minotaur’s labyrinth. In times gone by, gentlemen would tie a knot in their handkerchief to remind themselves of something important. 

Eternity Knot Bracelets.

Science indicates that as animals, we are wired as “out of sight, out of mind” beings. The string is a prompt. Rings, bracelets, even rocks can be prompts. Choose a prompt which works for you. Consider a habit you’d like to change and let your prompt be your reminder. I’ve worn an eternity knot bracelet to help me be a better listener. I’ve distributed “gratitude rocks” to remind us to think of for what we are grateful each and every day. Research indicates that expressing thanks rewires our brains and produces extraordinary health benefits!

Contact me to set up a workshop and I’ll incorporate this activity in the customized, interactive workshop for your group. Send an email: pathways2tlc@gmail.com.

Connect with Facebook: @tlcpathways

Instagram: maryse_tlcpathways or LinkedIn: Maryse L Postlewaite